(Disclaimer: There is indeed a difference between 'uber-characters' and 'God-characters', and it's much simpler than you think. You have vampire-characters, werewolf-characters, pikachu-characters, mage-characters, barbarian-characters, and so on. Those that are classified as dieties are god-characters. No better or worse than any other type. What makes these characters intolerable is the player behind them. Which is what this session is allll about.) You've tried everything by now, haven't you? Your uber-char still isn't quite getting off the ground, and you're becoming frustrated. More and more you're noticing that your character is sitting in a corner contemplating horrible acts of self-mutilation in an effort to get attention. (Chicks LOVE that! ...er...) Your character constantly spouts how he's leaving and never coming back. Frankly, you're bored. You have a total of eight characters now, and you've tried everything from center-bold-italicized text in every post, to the HUGE pictures known as poster-children. Nothing seems to get you recognized, and some of your attempts have even gotten you 'clicked'. That is SO wrong. Welcome to, "Sick of the Click?"! First off, a pun. If you're tired of the clicks, then join one of the cliques! Yes you can, don't shake your head at me. All you have to do is go ooc. What? You just came to roleplay? Well it doesn't work like that, sorry. The easiest way to join a clique is to go ooc with that HOT chick your character hooked up with. Even if it was just a kiss, you can start PM'ing her and talking with her as though you've known her for years. After all, you know her character, right? She can't be much different. And if she's HOT enough, she is probably already in a clique. Just start meeting up with her friends! "Don't click me, I know -------!" "Oh! Well you must be okay, then!" And the best part is, they'll forget you have an uber-char (like we first planned in the beginning, isn't it great?) or...better yet...they won't CARE! They'll tell you to be proud of it, and not let you tell anyone how to play YOUR character. Aaaah, yes, this is what friends are for. Nothing like moral support! And who knows, you might even get your character in good with the leader of the clique, and be granted special powers, especially if the leader of the clique is leader of an IC clan. That is sooo cool. You get to put a clan name on your handle, or on your mega picture, special access to clan stuff and everything! This is all really cool when the clan powers were designed so that no one could beat them and stuff. I mean sure, they have weaknesses to keep them 'fair', but they're as cool as your character! SUPER, even! But if you don't have the time or energy to get into a clique that deeply, just pal up. Find the undercover-ubers and start asking them for pointers. Yes yes, this is allowed. They probably won't have time to actually help you, but they'll take your character under their wing. If your character can 'stand up for himself' when he's in trouble, and still whimper and whine to the nearest female character, you've got it made. Tell her the person that clicked you on ignore, and they'll have a talk, and everything will be fixed up! No? Still no? What about the message board? That's it! Introduce your character on the message board, hiding the fact that he's a demon-lord/savior of the world (both at once, of course!) and bring as many people as you can into the storyline. Once they recognize you, you're in! Who cares what you're like! Especially if you can 'cuddle/smooch/pounce' them every time you're in the room. More on that later. You've got so many handles, you don't know what to do with them. And since you have to get people's attention out of character before they click your character on ignore, it's getting bothersome to remind everyone of who you are so they can accept your super-dee-duper powers. So make an OOC multi-char handle! No no, it's okay. You don't have to quote a song. Just make sure everyone knows its you. Or at least, leave them uncertain. The whole idea is to make sure they don't click you too quickly! (And just because someone is zapping your character with this and that, doesn't mean you should click them. They may be a fellow uber, you never know. Give'em a chance just like everyone gave YOU a chance!) Once you have this new faddish handle, you can go into a room and not even worry about role-playing. Just go in to remind yourself how many friends you have. Oh oh! And coin a phrase of some sort! Make sure you can post it in huge letters and funky colors so that everyone can shout it back at you. It's like a roll-call for groupies, you know? Try it! And if someone isn't paying attention to you that had once 'smoochied' you, pout! Girls think that's so HOT. It shows how sensitive you are. The more obscene your actions ooc, the more liberated they think you are. That is SO hot! Besides, they'll reply in kind! (that means they'll be obscene too.) And remember 'CAH' is "cool ass handshake". That's the stuff you do to guys. Don't get the two confused!! That's BAD! Don't be afraid to complain! If someone does something you don't like, you have a secret weapon. "Lamer!" It means someone beat you. Whether they were an uber you don't like, or just a random player, if they somehow outsmart ALL your cool stuff, they must be cheating. Smear their name in the mud for as long as possible. Make sure you tell all your ooc friends, too, so they can pass the word. Even if the person clears their name, somehow, you'll have tainted them in a way your character could never imagine, even if he made the universe! MUAHAHA! Isn't it great? Avoid the click! And if all else fails, pull this, it's worked MANY times before. "Yes I play an uber-character! And I'm proud of it!" I know I know, it sounds corny, but it works. Put some sort of 'I've found myself!' soliloquy with it, so people remember to take you seriously. Try variations of this, too. "I'm a bitch and I'm proud of it!" or "I'm an ass and that's the way I am!" Somehow, through a twist in social logic, this excuses your behaviour that would cause any normal person to be instantly ostracized. Not only will you be instantly forgiven, but people will expect continued behavior like that from you in the future! So if you're an ass, they'll understand, if you're not, they'll be happily surprised! It's a perfect plan, and has worked for many of the masters in the past. Now, about the difference between 'God' and 'Uber' characters. As far as I know, Erin and Athina are 'God' characters, and NOT 'Uber' characters. Sunfire Shadowstar, by self proclomation, is an 'Uber' and not a 'God' character. Jason Godslayer, by self proclomation, is both. And far be it from me to point out a problem and not point out a solution! If your character is so powerful that you feel like you have to spout off on the message board that you're proud of the obscene levels its at before anyone can attack you for it, then your character probably has no reason sticking around this place. There's a REASON your almighty characters are bored. It's like a body-builder sitting in a pen of hamsters. C'mon. It just looks rediculous, and it turns your awesomely powered character into a laughing stock. Remember the cartoons? Whenever some character was disgustingly more powerful than any other person in the show, they would always sit back in some secret place and pull strings. It would be just stupid for them to go out and do everything themselves all the time. That's why you have underlings! No, I'm not saying drop your characters. Obviously, you probably can't. It's too tied to your own ego for you to be able to drop such an instant power trip. I'm not saying 'retire' them. I've seen what happens when characters get retired. They just come back when your other characters get beat up on or bored too. And please, for pity's sake, don't "cut back" on their power or some crap like that. Start NEW, from the bottom. Don't start at the top with megalomaniac powers and work your way DOWN. Sheesh. Pull your uber-character back, and have them act the way their personality dictates. Work from behind the scenes! You snort and tell me that I'm just saying this because I'm tired of being beaten? I'm only 'ranting' because I'm sick of being overpowered? I can't talk, because I don't know what it's like? Let me be the first then. Jason Alexander Dukkar Godslayer will no longer be caught just idly wandering around. He's gone to his Realm, and he will continue to orchestrate events from there. He's not retired, he's not dropped, he's not dead. He's more realistic, and he's letting the lower-leveled characters take the lime light. In the interests of keeping the roleplay INTERESTING FOR EVERYONE, I'll be the first to do this in the hopes of setting a trend. If I'm the only one to do it, fine. I was never one to be in the mainstream. But if you read this far, I'm pretty sure you're seriously considering your options now. We are not responsible for any actions taken in accordance with the instructions here. Any similarity to another's actions to these directions are soley the choice of that other and can not be directed as a immediate result of these sessions. These sessions are meant as a scathing critique of said 'uberchars' and the 'undercover uberchars (UU)' that are infesting the roleplay. Humor is involved but is not the sole purpose. The author's amusement is the sole purpose. And if I described your character, it was not an accident. I was probably cursing your name the entire time! Yeah you! I named names! HA! I'm picking on you! Calling you out! Do something about it, I dare you! ...or just sit back, smirk, act like you know better, and get laughed at for years. er...weeks. Cuz your sorry ass will be forgotten just like ol' whatsisname! ...thank you. Dragon's Ubercharacter Series: [episode 1][episode 2][episode 3][episode 4] |
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