by dragon Fear not, you of young blood! For you follow in a grand tradition, full of subtelties, intricacies, and other atrocities that make it interesting and complex. In fact, there are many examples around you daily. Yes, YOU! For this session, we will discuss why you want...or why you SHOULD want...one of these 'God Chars' (from here-on in, known as uberchars). Some kind of innate feeling tells you that these creatures are a bad idea. SOMETHING nudges at the back of your brain when you consider it. Your gut WRITHES at the thought of being labeled as having an uberchar. What could POSSIBLY be strong enough to battle such instinctual warnings? POWER!! First of all, why would you want such power in a land of make-believe? Well look around! How else are you going to be noticed?! Sure they all whine that you should rely on your character and your writing to get you noticed...but when was the last time that really worked? Most of the 'good writers' have uberchars under disguises. (More on this later) And you didn't go to school for writing, so how can you compete with people that have nothing better to do than make each post look pretty? And once you're noticed...you're toast! Especially if you say 'hello' to the wrong evil bad guy. Usually, if you have a picture of a naked chic, you can get away with relying on the evil bad guy's hormones. Most of them have soft hearts anyway. (until you piss them off and that everpresent demon takes control of them and gives them superpowers until the threat is gone...then they're back to normal and very apologetic because it wasn't their fault.) But sometimes...SOMETIMES...you run across a real badass who sees your naked picture as a neon sign screaming 'HELPLESS!' (which was the idea, right? i mean, that's HOT!). And then you're toast. Or clicked on ignore, but which is worse? Or! If you're a guy, the pic doesn't matter that much. (Unless it's an uberpic...different session) So you stroll in and go to the bar, or to the shadows, or to a table, and sit and drink/smoke/watch...or any combination of the three. But that's boring! (Unless the helpless chic from example one finds you...then that's HOT!) So you either talk to the fem-fatales or bully up on another guy. Suddenly the chic you are talking to whips out razor claws, bitch-breath, and forcefields! OMIGOD!! Instant castration machine. or Suddenly the guy you were talking to, whips out his sword of EVIL DEATH PRESENCE INSTANT BANNISHMENT and threatens you in front of all his pals which you were trying to impress. Bummer. Either way, this is BAD. Even if you don't get whacked right off. Cuz you've still gotta defend your honor, right? I mean...you're a GUY! Pride MATTERS! So, because you didn't have a cool entrance to copy-paste when you came in, you didn't get to describe the cool gun your guy has. So it kinda looks bad when you whip it out and cap dat ass. So what can you do? No one talks to you because you don't have a cool 'OOC Handel' or a ubercool pic, and don't really get that HTML stuff. Last resort... THE UBERCHAR!! next session- the making of an uberchar We are not responsible for any actions taken in accordance with the instructions here. Any similarity to another's actions to these directions are soley the choice of that other and can not be directed as a immediate result of these sessions. These sessions are meant as a scathing critique of said 'uberchars' and the 'undercover uberchars (UU)' that are not yet mentioned. Humor is involved but is not the sole purpose. The author's amusement is the sole purpose. Get off my back, piss ant! ...thank you. Dragon's Ubercharacter Series: [episode 1][episode 2][episode 3][episode 4] |
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